When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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