Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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