Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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