and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
People in love make me want to vomit
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
