what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
