I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
