i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
