just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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