pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude. I can hear the air.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
