You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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