Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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