You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
