he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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