wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
