Soap is not a condiment
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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