Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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