just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
