I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize