the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
