Pants 0. Shit 1.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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