dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize