Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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