so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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