it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
