Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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