hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
