Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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