it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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