she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
