Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
