You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
