i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
