Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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