I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
