i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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