I CAN MOONWALK!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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