i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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