cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
