she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
