oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Still dying that you shit outside
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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