Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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