did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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