you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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