You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
