I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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