Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
