I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize