wat bout pragnant strippers??
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
