Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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