Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
