he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
