he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
