Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
