do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
