If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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