so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is Oprah even human
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
