i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
