he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
