I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize