I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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