I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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