proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
