I can text with my tongue
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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