I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
