We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
